Lost
by Knights Templar
Summary: Rick and Lisa have problems, suppose they don't work out, what if Rick's death makes Lisa happy.


Lost

A/N: This is my first attempt at an Angst Fic, so if it is not completely believable then I am sorry. I have to thank ShintoRed for all the help she has given to me and to Cicero-Phelps and Nighthunter for all the proofing.

Story Note: Rick and Lisa have been married for five years and I have taken liberties in the story. Rick and Lisa have already had Roy; the problems have begun a few months before the story due to work and no communication. This is going to be dark and very moody; I want to have you with an empty feeling.

Rick stirred and looked to his left as he opened his eyes and saw the spot next to him was empty, as usual. He and Lisa had been having a lot of problems and they hadn't been getting better, since Lisa and Rick hadn't been talking much at all since work had been keeping them apart.

Rick dragged himself out of bed and grabbed a shirt off the ground not bothering to smell it and see if it was clean, as he had stopped caring a long time ago and figured that he would have to eventually do some laundry.

Rick walked to the bathroom and brushed his teeth and looked in the mirror and saw himself changing in front of his eyes, he was growing older and was starting to look older. He was getting wrinkles in places that men his age shouldn't and his hair was beginning to become streaked with gray. His once brilliant blue eyes were becoming clouded and dull, as was his life.

Rick walked out to the living room and heard a familiar yell and looked over and saw Roy run to him and jumped up at his father and Rick was happy that at least something loved him still; as it seemed that his wife didn't seem to anymore. And what was worse, Lisa was becoming increasingly argumentative and rude in front of Roy and that made Rick mad. Parents, even if not happy, should always be civil in front of their children.

Lisa looked up and scowled at Rick and he just rolled his eyes and knew that he would have to make something happen soon, because their marriage was getting worse and worse as the days went by and something had to be done to save their marriage, because as many problems as they have been having, Rick still loved Lisa.

Rick picked up his son and walked over to the table and sat him down and asked him what he wanted for breakfast. He smiled and pointed to the sugary cereal and Rick smiled and grabbed it and poured him a bowl and sat it down in front of Roy. Rick smiled as he watched his son and looked up to see Lisa's face hidden behind the paper, 'She never talks to me anymore,' he thought.

Rick stood up and looked at Lisa's paper and walked off to their room and jumped in the shower and got ready for work. He stepped out of the shower and walked out of the bathroom and saw Lisa sitting there with an angry look on her face. Rick rolled his eyes and looked at her, "What's wrong Lisa?" He asked trying not to get into a fight.

She scowled and looked at him, "You took too damn long, an you know I need to be at work now, if I am late for my meeting then I am not going to be happy!" She yelled at Rick who was slowly counting to ten in his head. Rick just held up his hands and looked at her, "Ok, ok, settle down, I'm sorry but you won't be late your meeting isn't for another hour," Rick told her innocently.

Her face hardened and she just gave him a look and Rick closed his eyes tight and grabbed his uniform pants and put them on and got dressed quickly. He looked in the mirror and appraised himself and looked all over his uniform and saw the many ribbons, accommodations, and then the admiral rank on his shoulder.

And for all that he had achieved, Rick knew that it wouldn't save his marriage. Rick grabbed his briefcase and walked out the door and patted Roy on the head, as he settled down with the woman who came to watch him while Lisa and he worked. Rick pulled out a cell phone and punched in a familiar number.

"Hello?" Said the sweet voice on the other side, and Rick felt a warm, safe feeling wash over him, it had been a long time.

"Hello Minmei, this is Rick," he said and he could hear her give a happy squeal.

"RICK! It's been such a long time since we have talked, how are you and Lisa?" Minmei asked, truly wanting to hear that everything was going ok.

Rick smiled, "Well, Minmei, it isn't going very well, Lisa and I aren't doing so well and I was hoping that we could meet so I could get you to help me," Rick said hoping Minmei would understand that he needed real help.

"Well Rick, I am busy, and I am doing a new record," Minmei stopped and Rick felt his heart drop but he was stopped before he could say anything, "but Rick, you know I'd love to help and would do anything for you, how about we meet at Karen's at say around one-thirty?" Minmei asked and Rick felt himself fill with relief.

"Thank you Minmei, you're a life saver," Rick told her and he hung up the phone as he neared the board room. He opened the door and looked in to see the familiar faces in the room and steeled himself for a long grueling meeting.

Rick sat in his chair at the head of the table and listened to the sides argue and Rick looked at his watch and saw as time slowly clicked closer and closer to one thirty and he just wanted this to hurry up and end. He stood up, "Ladies and Gentlemen what do you say that we finish this up and continue tomorrow?" The room agreed and the occupants started to file out.

He grabbed his suitcase and walked out the board room and made his way for Karen's and found the restaurant packed. He sifted through and saw Minmei flag him and he walked over to her and sat down and smiled at her.

"Hey Minmei, it's been a long time," Rick said as he picked up the menu and scanned it seeing nothing he found interesting.

"Yeah," was all Minmei said looking at him, "You know Rick; you still look as handsome as the day we met, even after seeing what time has done to you." Minmei said, and Rick smiled.

"Minmei, this isn't what I can to talk about, I need help with Lisa, we've...drifted apart. I was wondering what I could do to rekindle our marriage." Rick said to Minmei with a serious look on his face. Minmei smiled sweetly at Rick.

"Well Rick, if she can't see you're great without you having to sweeping her off her feet all the time then she is blind, but what I think you should do is set up your house, and put candles everywhere and set the most romantic scene you can imagine, get everything she loves and hope that that works," Minmei told him, "That'd at least make me fall for you all over again."

Rick looked to his right and saw someone who he thought was from the press corp. walking out of the restaurant and Rick got an uneasy feeling in his stomach. He hoped that this meeting wouldn't hurt him; he looked at his watch and realized he had business to attend to, "Minmei, I'm sorry we have to cut this short, but being an Admiral is a bitch." Minmei nodded and Rick got up and put a twenty on the table, "That'll cover your bill I hope," Rick said as he walked away.

Lisa sat in her office after having dealt with stacks of reports and thought of her and Rick's marriage and how it was deteriorating quickly and that things were not getting any better an that soon they may end up getting a divorce. Lisa looked up and decided she would watch some TV for a while just to see what was going on with the worlds bright and beautiful.

Lisa flipped the TV on and what she saw made her stomach turn. There was a photo, or several photos of Minmei and Rick at a local restaurant and there was dialogue, she assumed was from Rick and Minmei, Lisa was lost and shocked, the only words she heard were, "love", "sweep of feet", and "all the things she loves".

Lisa turned the TV off only more convinced that Rick wasn't trying to keep their marriage together, and he was already making plans to get back with Minmei after he left her. Well Lisa would have none of it, she got up and grabbed her coat, she was going to the bar, if he was being unfaithful, then she would be too.

Lisa walked into the bar and looked around and saw a young man and walked up to him, she took off her ring and sat down next to him, "Hey there big man," Lisa said, coming onto the poor young man hard and fast.

The young man looked shocked and just uttered a "Hi," and his jaw closed and he turned to his drink and kicked it back and finished off the contents. He wiped his mouth and looked back at Lisa who by this time had a drink and was seductively twirling her finger over the rim of the glass, he young man gawked.

"So, how about you and me go back to your place and...talk," Lisa said trying her best to seduce the young man. The young man was on his heels he couldn't recover enough to really say anything to Lisa as she wrapped her arm around his waist and they walked out.

Lisa got the young man to his place and he stood no chance as she led him to his bedroom and scored on her threat to be just as unfaithful as she believed Rick was being with Minmei.

Rick sat at home and just stared at the clock as time ticked away as he waited for his wife. He had gone through a lot of trouble to get this evening set up and had even dropped Roy off to play with Dana. Rick was mad, and when Lisa got home he was going to talk to her, he took another pull on the wine bottle.

Rick heard the door open and looked over as a glowing Lisa walked in, he felt his anger rise even more as she walked by him ignoring everything he had done, Rick shot up and looked at Lisa, "Where the hell have you been?!" Rick yelled, Lisa ignored him and walked into their room and into the bathroom.

Rick felt himself getting more and more angrier and decided that if he stayed here then he would end up doing something bad and that he needed to get out and burn off some steam. He walked out of his quarters and down the hall and ran into a young man who was walking from the other direction and the man quickly stepped back and saluted, Rick waved him off and continued to walk.

Several more weeks passed and Rick and Lisa's marriage had become even more distanced and Rick tried more and more to get Lisa to see that he loved her getting help from Max, Claudia, Miriya, and Minmei but Lisa stopped coming home and was now staying and living out of her office. Rick had started to become depressed and spent all his free time taking care of Roy and was becoming increasingly frazzled.

Rick walked out to the bar, leaving Roy at Max's and sat down in a dark corner of the bar and just sat quietly taking in everything. He sat drinking and he heard something interesting, the man behind him was talking about a woman, "You should see her, an the way Thompson talks about her, she is a demon in the bedroom," Rick heard a few of his friends chuckle and Rick continued to listen, "Yeah, it's hard to believe that she is an admiral," that was all Rick needed to hear, he got up and left.

As Rick beat a hasty retreat from the bar, he felt himself dying on the inside, there weren't any female admirals other than his Lisa, he started to run to Max's and got there quickly. He pounded on the door and Max came to the door with a wild look on his face. "Rick, what is it, Rick are you ok?" Max asked his voice full of concern.

Rick ran inside and slammed to door; he looked at Max and sat down. "Max, I can't believe that she did this, I can't believe the bitch did that to me!" Rick shouted and stomped his feet as he jumped up and threw his arms about and ranted and raved. Max walked up and slapped Rick, who then fell back into the chair with tears running down his face.

"Rick, you have got to settle down and tell me what the problem is, what did Lisa do?" Max asked Rick trying desperately to settle his friend down, "The bitch cheated on me, she is sleeping with some damned pilot!" Rick screamed and then fell back into his seat drained. He put his hands to his face, and sobbed his heart out; he couldn't believe that she had cheated on him.

Max sat down and put his arm around his close friend's back and just let him cry and then Roy and Dana came in and Roy walked up to Rick and put his little hand on Rick's hand and said, "Why daddy cry?" Rick stopped and looked at his son and picked him and up hugged him. "Roy, go play with Dana, are you having fun?" Roy nodded and ran off.

Rick looked at Max and hugged him, "Max, whatever you do, don't let Lisa take Roy, keep him here please, I'm begging you as a friend," Rick pleaded. Max nodded and watched Rick with a dumbfounded look. Rick ran out the door and ran towards his place, and Max just watched and closed the door.

Rick ran as fast as he could and found Lisa sleeping on the couch and he ran to her and shook her awake violently and backed away as she shot up. She blinked a few times and looked at Rick and her face went cold, "What do you want?" She snarled at him, Rick was taken aback by her anger and looked at her with a shocked and betrayed look.

"How could you?" Rick asked softly, an Lisa just gave him a sneer and stood up, "Don't give me that fucking bullshit, I know you've been fucking Minmei!" Lisa yelled. Rick didn't raise his voice, "No I didn't, and I went to go see Minmei so I could get help for us, but..." Rick trailed off and Lisa just laughed.

"Bullshit! I saw the news that had pictures of you and Minmei at Karen's and using 'I went trying to help us' is horrible, I am just doing what you did to me, being unfaithful, an I'll have you know I am happier now than I ever was when we were married." Rick staggered back and stared at her, and just looked at her with a sad hurt look on his face.

"Lisa, would it be easier if I just disappeared?" Rick asked her and Lisa just pushed him away from her and walked out, but then stopped at the door, "I wish you'd just kill yourself, you stupid son of a bitch. You're worthless, and I guess I made a mistake loving you." Lisa slammed the door and Rick just started to cry and put his head into his hands.

Rick stood up and walked over to his desk and scrawled a short note, Rick put the pen down and gave a shudder and walked to the bathroom and turned on the water, and took off all his clothes except his boxers. Rick let the water fill up and started to place candles all over the bathroom and lit them and got into the water and looked at the wall and felt him steel for what he was about to do.

Rick lifted his left wrist out of the water and pressed the razor to is and made a quick downward movement and saw the blood pour out before he felt the stinging pain, he closed his eyes but opened them to watch his life pour out and the pain started to increase and Rick just sat there an then slowly raised his right wrist and with his bleeding left made another downward motion and slit his right wrist.

Rick started to cry as he felt himself slowly dying spiritually and psychically. He had loved Lisa so much and would have done anything to make her happy and now he knew what would make her happy, if taking his own life would make Lisa happy, then he would do it, to end her pain, he would do it. He had loved Lisa with his whole heart and he couldn't even do that right, he couldn't even love her right, as far as he was concerned at this point, he deserved to die.

Rick felt his head get light and his vision started to blur, his body was getting cold, he felt his vision get dark an his head nodded forward, he saw a light an felt his body go weak and his life end.

Lisa walked down the hall and felt a hand reach around and clamp down on her mouth, and felt herself being dragged into a dark room an when the light flicked on Lisa saw four familiar faces.

"What is the meaning of his?" Lisa yelled, but instead of a response, Minmei slapped Lisa, and hard. Lisa looked at her with a shocked look and gawked. Claudia was the first to speak, "You stupid bitch! What do you think you're doing sleeping around with some pilot? Have you lost your mind?" Claudia said in a cold silent voice.

Lisa looked up with a defiant look, "What business is that of yours?" Lisa asked with a defiant look. Minmei slapped her again, and yelled at her, "You stupid slut! Rick loved you, he would have done anything, and just yesterday he would do anything to make you happy, I'm afraid that he may really do anything to make you happy. And we never had sex, Rick respected you're marriage too much, but it seems that you didn't."

Lisa continued to remain defiant until a thought popped into her head, she struggled free and ran from the room and made for her place, she fumbled with the key and managed to get the door open and ran into the living room and looked around frantically, and saw a piece of paper and read it, she stumbled back tears beginning to for in her eyes as she fell onto the floor. She read the note again:

"Dear Lisa,

I'm sorry for all the pain that I have called you, and now that I know what will make you happy, I have decided that I will do whatever I have to make sure that you live a happy life, and if that means living it without me, than so be it. I will make sure that you can be happy with whomever you please; I leave everything I have and own to you and Roy.

Just...

Rick"

Lisa ran into their bedroom and looked around but everything was dark, but then she saw a glow in the bathroom and ran in and her hands flew to her mouth, Rick was in the bathtub, the water was dark red, and Rick was in the water, pale and lifeless. Lisa collapsed down next to Rick, tears streaming down her face.

She dragged herself closer to Rick's cold body and wrapped her arms around his cold neck and pulled his body close, "Oh Jesus Christ Rick, why'd you do it? Why did you have to do this, I know I said I wanted you to kill yourself but I didn't mean it, I was just mad. Please Rick, don't leave, please don't leave me I love you too much," the tears poured down her face and she could barely get the words out, "Rick I was never happier than when we were married, I'm sorry for what I said, I didn't mean it Rick, I love you so much."

Lisa felt a movement and looked at Rick an she gasped; Rick looked up at her his eyes grayed with pain and his body slow because of all the blood he had lost Rick moved his hand, or tired to and Lisa grasped it an brought it up to her face an she cringed and gasped as she saw the deep cut in his arm, "Lisa...Lisa..." Rick struggled with his words, "please just be happy, an know I love you..." Rick barely got the last words out before he drew his last breath and his body went completely limp, his eyes closed for the last time. Lisa sobbed and cried and over Rick's body, not caring about her life anymore, only wanting to be with the man she loved.


End file.
